Caring too much is a no
by Gettinitallandthensome
Summary: it only gets you killed.


She remembered the first night she spent alone.

It was going to be that crappy hotel in the corner for tonight, just for tonight she had told herself.

Those stupid loud sirens were still ringing in the distance. Or maybe it was just the sound of her heart beating, her heart from who knows how much she cried and tore everything up in the woods nearby. She couldn't tell really.

No one was in the front no more entering or exiting, and the guy she assumed to be the security guard was locking the entrance.

Good.

The smell of burnt wood wouldn't leave her hair, her clothes. There were black smudges on her face she noticed when she looked in one of the windows. It was clear where her tears had trailed down and washed away the ashes; it really pissed her off.

Maybe not eating that morning had been a mistake, it looked like she wouldn't eat till at least sundown tomorrow. But she could deal for now, she chanted, when a really loud growl sounded in the room she was in. It wasn't the first time she had gone with nothing to fill her stomach.

There were faces she couldn't make out in her dreams that night. One of them kind of looked like her sister, maybe her mother? But when her fathers' face showed itself among the shadows in her mind, she woke up to a wet pillow and bloody hands where her nails had dug into her palm.

That face her father had made was her fault. It was her fault that it would stay like that forever.

She had just wanted to see him smile.

* * *

"I see you're still the same."

"Yup. Why change something if it isn't broken?" The apples she had stolen were surprisingly crunchy today. The hotel room she had snuck into this time even had a king size bed. "Whadda' ya want Kyubey?"

"I just came over here to tell you the next city over is open territory again."

"Huh? What are you talking abou-" He was gone when she looked up again. That stupid animal, it never answered her questions fully.

But what was he talking about 'open territory'? If she remembered correctly, Mami was in charge of that city still. And there was no way that girl had left the city alone to fend for itself against the witches. Dumb, naive, too nice for her own good wanting to help everyone Mami. Never changing, no matter how many times they had fought in the past over anything and everything. Mami never changed.

Well, it couldn't be helped she guessed as she took off her boots for the night. It was only a matter of time before even Mami got sick of the whole saving everybody crap. She had probably ran away to another place or something, who knows. It was about damn time.

There was a good view of the sky from up this high in the building. For once, she actually admired it from the bed and tried counting some stars. It kind of reminded her of sirens again.

_Everyone always gets tired. You can't save everybody, there's just no way._

She had learned that earlier on thankfully. Her years of hunting were now filled with just grief seeds, no time wasted on the ones who hadn't become full witches yet. Energy wasted, gem stone getting tainted just to save some stupid people who didn't even know they existed. It made no sense, death was a certain thing. So what if it happened a little earlier for others.

Even then though, for some reason, that night Mami's face was in the shadows along side her fathers'.

Someone that bright shouldn't have been clouded by so much grief.

* * *

"I didn't think you would show up."

Oh, there he was. She had been waiting for him.

"Heard ol' Mami hit the dust." Those dreams she had nights earlier were more concerning when she had found out no body could be found nor anyone knew her whereabouts. That could only mean one thing.

He was still talking in the background, she could feel her mouth moving, words coming out of her. But she still couldn't understand how this had happened.

This is why it was never a good idea to try and save others. This is why she had stopped after that night trying to protect anyone she could. In the end, all they ever were doing was meaningless. That idiot Mami, how could she had not understood that!

Kyubey said something about a new magical girl taking over in Mami's place. Though this girl had only just made her contract recently.

"What are you planning Kyoko?"

Maybe this new girl would learn something. Maybe this new magical girl would be smart enough to not put other people before herself. It was always only you, you yourself you had to look after first because no one else was going to do it.

She didn't want to see someone else die because of stupid delusions. No one else needed to make the same mistake she had made.

"There's only one thing to do."

…And if the new girl didn't know already, she would be happy to show her what a mistake like helping others could lead to.

"I'll put the new girl out of commission. Permanently."

She was tired of seeing people die.

* * *

**A/N: Hi everyone! this is just kinda what i think kyokos mindset was at the end of episode 5 i think? Yeah, she just didn't want others to repeat her mistakes. Also, anyone was is waiting for the next chapter of whtk or ialn, they will be up soon! just i haven't had my laptop and life is kinda hectic now but i will have em up soon promise (:**

**- Getty**


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